The Moon at 3 A.M

Seasons of Sleeplessness: An Excerpt from The Beauty of Motherhood: Grace-Filled Devotions for the Early Years

Yours is the day, yours also the night;
you established the moon and
the sun. –Psalm 74:16

As mothers with babies, we know what it is to be awake at night. Over and over again, our babies need us to feed and change them. Some nights babies just don’t want to sleep. I remember one particularly rough night of sleep with Charlotte. After days of disrupted sleep, my own tears fell in a cry of desperation, “Please, Charlotte, just go to sleep.”

Around 3 a.m., I placed her in the car seat, pulled out of the garage, and drove our town streets. I passed an open garage where a group of men worked on a car, and some houses with lights glowing in windows. Otherwise, I felt like the only one awake with my daughter—who at least wasn’t crying, but still had eyes wide awake.

As I drove, I remembered my final night serving as a Peace Corps Volunteer in The Gambia. Sitting with the local women, one of the young girls turned to me. “You see this moon. It is the same moon that will shine on you when you’re back home in the states. Look at the moon and remember us.” Together we gazed up, mesmerized by the light. I studied the moon taking in its shape and contours, the way the light filled the African sky. The women seated with me had become family, and even though I’d be leaving, her words and the moon remained.

Driving with Charlotte that night, as I left town and entered the country, I saw the full, honey-colored moon. Rising above the corn fields, the same moon I saw in Africa shone before me on my rural Missouri country road.

In my moment of despair at the lack of sleep in our home, the moon reminded me that even in my sleeplessness, I wasn’t alone. The same moon that covered my baby and I driving at 3 a.m. was the same moon watching over other parents. In houses, streets, states, and countries away, others were awake.

It’s this same moon and the same God who whispers to you as you whisper to your babies: I am with you. This same moon shines for us all.

Seeing the moon drew me to remember not only God’s creation and light, but others who were awake at this time. I thought about people who were sick or friends with a new medical diagnosis who might be awake worrying. I gave thanks for health care workers spending the night caring for patients. I remembered others with babies. As I continued to drive, my tears turned to prayers, and my frustration transformed to peace, as I gave thanks for all the people for whom the moon brought light.

Perhaps you’re experiencing the moon at 3 a.m. You may know what it’s like to walk your halls cuddling a newborn, or rocking your baby battling a fever, forging through a series of late-night cluster feedings, or waking to the screams of your toddler from a nightmare. The moon shines for you, too.

The moon offers light and hope to you in the darkness.

Under the light of the moon amidst a sleepless night, God speaks to us:

You are not alone, you are not alone, you are not alone.

Next time you’re awake in the middle of the night, take the time to intentionally pray for others. Use your sleeplessness to connect to God by lifting up the names of people who need the reminder they are not alone. As you pray, remember the moon shines for all of you.

3 a.m.
again
awake
tears
screams
nighttime feeding
scrolling
tired
alone
until
I look
and see
the moon
shining
over me
for me
wrapping me in light.
Amen.

This is an excerpt from the book I wrote with

Erin Strybis

: The Beauty of Motherhood: Grace-Filled Devotions for the Early Years. The Beauty of Motherhood is a collection of moving devotions for moms inspired by our children’s milestones and development.

The early years of motherhood are filled with moments of wonder and joy alongside day-to-day challenges. You want to connect with God, but you’re exhausted. You’re questioning if you’re doing enough for your kids and wondering if you’ll ever have time for yourself again.

With scripture, stories, prayers, and practices, The Beauty of Motherhood provides refreshment, encouragement, and the reminder that you are not alone as you mother.¹

This post is part of a blog hop with Exhale—an online community of women pursuing creativity alongside motherhood, led by the writing team behind Coffee + Crumbs. Click here to view the next post in the series "Sleepless."

1. Photo credit

Dani Elgas